You know you’re Catholic when…

Ais’ list, specific to our 2014 experiences, because there were so many, and we are so blessed. =) mGbp

  1. Your family’s joining of a new parish family, on the Feast of the Holy Family, is noted in the following week’s homily.
  2. You protest when your choir director states at rehearsal that he doesn’t believe that [SAINT!] Hildegard intended for O Virtus Sapientiae to be a religious piece.
  3. Telepictionary has references to your home parish and home pastor. And cockroaches.
  4. A hiking trip cannot be complete without praying the Liturgy of the Hours with your legs dangling over a drop to sure death.

    sure death
    A hiking trip cannot be complete without praying the Liturgy of the Hours with your legs dangling over a drop to sure death.
  5. Your best friend calls out your name as he’s walking by, and blurts out, “I can’t stop – I’m actually really late to class – but I’m praying for you-” and as he hurries away, you see the rosary swinging from his fingers. 
  6. You take off work and school and brave below-freezing temperatures and drive a fifteen-passenger van on icy mountain roads to D.C. for the anniversary of Roe vs. Wade, and you get a whole compartment on the subway to pray the rosary with you, and throw together an incredibly long and impromptu litany at the end of it.

    subway prayer
    You take off work and school and brave below-freezing temperatures and drive a fifteen-passenger van on icy mountain roads to D.C. for the anniversary of Roe vs. Wade, and you get a whole compartment on the subway to pray the rosary with you, and throw together an incredibly long and impromptu litany at the end of it.
  7. In response to the secular university scheduling your choral concert on Ash Wednesday, you perform without removing your ashes and refuse to sing any and all Alleluias.

    choral ashes
    In response to the secular university scheduling your choral concert on Ash Wednesday, you perform without removing your ashes and refuse to sing any and all Alleluias.
  8. You go book tabling on campus on Ash Wednesday and greet passerbys with, “HAPPY LENT!”

    HAPPY LENT
    You go book tabling on campus on Ash Wednesday and greet passerbys with, “HAPPY LENT!”
  9. Spending twelve hours overnight outside of Planned Parenthood to pray for the deliverance of babies and the salvation of their mothers is normal.
  10. At the end of a four-hour set on St. Patrick’s day, your favorite band concludes with the Immaculate Mary, and all your friends – no matter how inebriated – form a chain in front of the stage and sing AVE at the top of their lungs, to the extreme confusion of all purely secular celebrants present.

    AVE MARIA
    At the end of a four-hour set on St. Patrick’s day, your favorite band concludes with the Immaculate Mary, and all your friends – no matter how inebriated – form a chain in front of the stage and sing AVE at the top of their lungs, to the extreme confusion of all purely secular celebrants present.
  11. On your spring break-turned-Chorus tour, your schedule includes daily Mass, and you invite your choir director.
  12. You bow at the name of Jesus in ALL situations, to make reparation for the times that His Name is taken in vain.
  13. Mid-week mid-morning Confession enables ones to do great things – like hit a high C in chorus rehearsal.
  14. The best part about a trip to the mall is finding the Chapel with Perpetual Adoration smack dab in the middle of it.
  15. Your summer project is learning how to properly use your breviary, because unlike your phone, IT IS A SACRAMENTAL.
  16. Mama Mary and St. Elizabeth of Hungary are perpetual passengers in your car, and everywhere that anything can be hung resides a rosary or chaplet.
  17. One finds pro-life comfort in watching Kill Bill.
  18. Your grad party is on Pentecost Sunday. Fire fall down…
  19. A road trip with your girl friends includes stopping at the church multiple times to keep the Liturgy of the Hours.
  20. You run into a fellow parishioner at a Matthew Kelly seminar, four hundred and sixty-two miles from your home parish.
  21. Ceramic figures of nuns playing baseball is not offensive, only hilarious and picture-worthy.
  22. References to the Seven Deadly Sins in modern art prompts theological discussion.
  23. Bad Catholic’s return to the blog world is cause for much rejoicing and drinking and eating and rejoicing and joy and rejoicing.
  24. You polka with, and for, seminarians.
  25. Your knees hit the sidewalk at the 5th Sorrowful Mystery, every Monday at around 1825 in front of Planned Parenthood, be it raining or snowing or sun shiney-shining.

    snowy vigil
    Your knees hit the sidewalk at the 5th Sorrowful Mystery, every Monday at around 1825 in front of Planned Parenthood, be it raining or snowing or sun shiney-shining.
  26. In the face of verbal persecution being spouted from somewhere behind, you and your friends do not turn to look, but tacitly move as one from the originally seemingly quiet dialogue of the Rosary to a confident and unapologetic united proclamation of faith.
  27. You attend a Lepanto party and attempt to memorize Chesterton.
  28. Theology of the Body is a normal part of work-kitchen conversation.
  29. You and your friends go to the Cemetery to reflect on the nothingness of this world, the greatness of heaven, the shortness of time, and the length of eternity.
  30. Little cherub candles look like Yoda from above…

    YODA
    Little cherub candles look like Yoda from above…
  31. Your Scrabble game blazes of the Liturgy and you’ve almost completely switched over to Latin.
  32. Your Society of St. Paul occupies the ice cream shoppe post-Adoration.

    occupy ice cream!
    Your Society of St. Paul occupies the ice cream shoppe post-Adoration.
  33. Your jack-o-lanterns become pro-life messages.

    babypumpkin
    Your jack-o-lanterns become pro-life messages.
  34. Your friends celebrate All Hallow’s Eve the right way.
  35. Your motivation in spite of the the tediousness and exhaustion that comes with pro-life ballot-ing cars at the mall is what your efforts will hopefully do to shorten your time in Purgatory.
  36. You do OUTRAGEOUS ACTS OF THE WILL like a typical super-intense retreat with Fr. Nathan Cromly on effectively zero sleep.
  37. A previously unintroduced fellow daily Mass goer comes up to you in between Mass and Morning Prayer and asks point blank if you’re a nun.
  38. Someone’s 21st birthday celebration consists of drinks at the bar followed by Adoration.
  39. You host parties specifically for making rosaries.
  40. You find legit theology in a thirty-second snippet of dialogue in Fast & Furious: Tokyo Drift.
  41. Someone draws a caricature of Obama in Telepictionary, the following phrase is, “The Devil.”
  42. Even though it’s already 0215, you stay ten minutes longer at someone’s house to do Night Prayer before driving awayyyyy.
  43. Singing parties. Because he who sings prays twice.
  44. You submit yourself to being very uncomfortably crowned in a jiffy, with pokey greenery and luckily found florists’ wire and electric candles that end up looking like they’re going to rocket off of the back of your head any second, all because your best friend forgot to acquire materials and assemble a crown for St. Lucy sooner than half an hour before her presence is required.
  45. One of the gag gifts for a white-elephant-type game is the worst translation of the documents of Vatican II and SSPX, SSPV, Novus Ordo, and Rad Trads alike are able to joke about it.
  46. “President Obama” is played in Celebrity, the acting out portion is “Heil Hitler.”
  47. Pope Saints are played in Celebrity and the description portion is a listing of their encyclicals.
  48. You buy bottles of wine just because they have Mama Mary on the label.
  49. You get dissed at a bar for wearing a crucifix [given to you by an exorcist].
  50. Your New Year’s Eve party host makes everyone STOP ALL THE THINGS at 2330 to pray the rosary.
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One comment

  1. Anyone know the name of the girl standing up on the far left of the St Patrick’s day picture?

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