12.14.13

Meds

Sir 48:11

Of thee it was written that in time of judgement to come thou wouldst appease the divine anger, by reconciling heart of father to heart of son, and restore the tribes of Israel as they were.

In Conversation with God:

… at the top of each of these blank pages which we begin to scribble each day… I like to put as a heading just one word; ‘Serviam.’ I will serve. It is both a desire and a hope.

After beginning in that way – with that desire and that hope – I try to write words and phrases and make paragraphs and fill the page with neat, clear, hand-writing. That means work, prayer, apostolate – all my day’s activity.

I try to pay a lot of attention to punctuation – which is the practice of keeping presence of God. These pauses – commas, or semi-colons or colons – represent the silence of my soul and the aspirations I try to use to give meaning and the supernatural outlook to everything I write. 

I particularly like the full stops, because after every full stop I begin, in a way, to write again. They are a kind of indication that I am correcting my intention, saying to Our Lord that I’m going to start writing again: I’m going to start again with the right intention of serving him and dedicating my life to him, moment by moment, minute by minute. 

I am also careful about dotting my “i’s” and crossing my “t’s” – the little mortifications which give my life and my work a truly Christian meaning. When I fail to dot an “i” or cross a “t” it means that I did not accept in a Christian way the mortification which Our Lord was sending me, which he had lovingly prepared for me and wanted me to recognize and receive with pleasure. 

I try to see that there is nothing crossed out, no mistakes or blots, or irrelevant parentheses or big gaps; but… there are so many! These are my imperfections, my infidelities, my sins… and my omissions.

It hurts me to see that there is hardly a single page that has not got some sign of my awkwardness and clumsiness. But I quickly console myself and recover my serenity by remembering that I am just a little child who hasn’t yet learned to write properly, and has to used a ruled sheet under the page to help him write straight, and needs a teacher to guide his hand to make sure  he does not write nonsense: what a good Teacher God our Lord is; what infinite patience he has with me!

Playlist

… so don’t you ever be lonely, love will make it alright…
… my heart is beating and my pulse is starting cathedrals in my heart… every teardrop is a waterfall…

ToB #120 ~ A Discipline That Ennobles Human Love

… self-discipline of this kind is a shining witness to the chastity of husband and wife and, so far from being a hindrance to their love of one another, transforms it by giving it a more truly human character. And if this self-discipline does demand that they persevere in their purpose and efforts, it has at the same time the salutary effect of enabling husband and wife to develop to the full their personalities and be enriched with spiritual blessings…

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