I was never really able to mourn Angela’s passing. Unfortunately consistent with my personality, the anger and bitterness and guilt onto which I held prevented me from doing so.
It has been over three years.
On Saturday night, I re-entered Moeller’s auditorium, this year as a chaperone for CREDO, just as the band began From the Inside Out. Christ – body, blood, soul, and divinity – moved about the room.
Angela was cremated. I wasn’t at her funeral. Maybe that’s why I never achieved any sense of closure.
In those moments, I was finally able to grieve, pouring out all previous negativity in the song that I had sung at Gela’s wake, and that I had never been able to sing wholeheartedly since. She was with me as we followed Christ outside to the Easter fire. With those flames rose my goodbye to Gela on earth, and my prayer to be reunited with her in Christ in heaven. With my surrender began the healing for which I will always remember this year’s CREDO experience.