Michigan ~ Day 54

So I’ve been watching the olympics on and off along with everyone else around here, and I’m a little disconcerted and more than a little sad to find that gymnastics is actually one of the hardest things for me to watch now. I think it’s mostly the landings; I tense up when they’re about to land, almost as if I expect someone’s knee to give. But then there’s also this… question… that I haven’t quite resolved with myself. Or maybe I had? Maybe it’s the lack of training and now the dancing that has reawakened that sense of doubt regarding my determination. Doesn’t every athlete dream of going to the olympics? I know I did. And maybe I never seriously believed that it was actually possible for me, especially after my first injury at 12, and I remember trying hard not to cry my heart out when I gave it up. I think the very immediate switch to Tang Soo helped, and losing that slowly as we tried to go back every three months for testing, instead of losing it all at once, helped ease and soften the second loss so that it was almost unnoticeable. Then college came, and I took dance and martial arts electives, neither of which were as satisfying as I hoped they would be. Now that I think about it, my viewing of martial arts and dance movies has increased exponentially in the past three years. I suspect now that that’s related.

So here we are, watching the olympics. Troy Dumais just won a bronze medal and finally gets to stand on the podium 16 years after his first olympics. I can’t help asking myself, is it just that I didn’t want it badly enough? But then, Dumais is now 32. I’d want to be doing other things at 32. Eh.

Not too bad today, $1784 by myself, but then that included at least seven cases of wine total, so tasting-wise, it was pretty slow. I had time to put the rope lights up under the bar, without a drill =) Yeah, yeah, I know, so silly to be as proud of that as I am. I kind of can’t help it, I’m surrounded by guys who just put things together at a whim. They’ve all the wood and tools and findings necessary to make it happen with the right skill and imagination.

I’m currently at Jill’s house enjoying a mug of chamomile with the girls. I received a card from Steffy today!!! I’ll spend some time writing back tomorrow. I’m going to go check out the Mackinaw Trail Winery wines at their tasting room in Petoskey, have lunch at the Twisted Olive Cafe at Kelly’s recommendation, go to Pleasantview for more tasting, call Mom and Mama, and then a nice little group’s planning on going to Cadillac for dinner at Josie’s dad’s restaurant.

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