Is it really already the last day of June???
I slept in today. What’s funny is that I almost have to force myself to sleep in. The sun comes up and my body wants to get going, but I knew I’d be working a very late shift, so I forced myself to keep resting. Lying awake listening to woodpeckers…
I called Mother and she told me what happened on Thursday. The mandate hadn’t been mentioned at Mass and I am behind on facebook stuff. I hope she didn’t hear it in my voice, but I did cry a bit. I was staring out at Lake Michigan and thinking that the world looked darker.
The Fortnight for Freedom Rosary at noon had a painfully small turn-out; three older ladies who were surely of an entirely appropriate age to be grandmothers judging by the completely white hair and slower walk, two others that I would assume somewhere between 30 and 40, and then myself. I wanted to run out and yell. Do so few young people care about what is happening to their country????
The rest of today was pretty stressful all around. Ok, public confession for which I should very probably seek absolution: I was initially depressed about the mandate being ruled as constitutional… Depression soon gave way to anger. WHERE ARE THEIR BRAINS?!?! bouncing around in my being. During prep, I found myself singing, “Don’t want to be an American idiot / One nation controlled by the media / Information age of hysteria / It’s calling out to idiot America.” There is so much hate in that song… and I am not there, and I do not want to be, but it was so hard today to pray for America with love. I’ll snap out of it by tomorrow, I’ll be able to hope because Christ has already conquered and He is made visible to me through so many people, but today… today I am angry. Today was a Green Day day. Tomorrow will be an Audrey Assad day, but today is for Green Day.
Honestly, the wedding didn’t help. A number of things went wrong, and it was just one of those days that you kept on saying, “Make it happen, make it happen,” and hope that you actually could. I’m pretty sure no one picked up on exactly how stressed I was; Scott was stressed enough, and I can put on a face so that he can do all the stressing and I won’t get on his nerves. He gets quiet and even more gentle when he’s stressed, so good for him. It certainly smoothed things over for everyone else. It just wasn’t working for me.
I got back to the cabin at a little before 2300. It was a rice-and-sardines night. Jill was going to sleep over, but she ended up going home. We’re planning to go to the Legs Inn tomorrow. It will be a nice little group, and they’re going to have fun, and I’m going to drive people safely back and forth and hopefully relax a little bit.
“In the evening weeping shall have place, and in the morning gladness.” Ps 30:6
That is what I pray for. Please pray tonight, for clarity of mind and a change of heart for all of America.