13:36 Woooo we’re going on a field trip! Hehe. […]
18:05 […] European hot chocolate is… I swear it’s just warm liquid [darker] chocolate. But no. Thicker. More like hot drinkable pudding. Hot chocolate isn’t a drink here. It can’t be. It’s DESSERT for crying out loud. And it’s TORTURE. They gave me one cup of hot chocolate and a glass of water. This is a small cup of hot chocolate […]. And it was torture. I felt like I was going to be sick if I drank it all. My water was gone because it was so sickly sweet. Did I say it was impossible to have Lent here because there’s no such thing as a bad meal? That’s true. But it’s also true that the most delicious things can make you SUFFER. I was DEAD by the time I finished it. Oh you should’ve heard the fuss Paco put up. Mother had to drink like half. We were going, “MAN UP! Just drink it!!!” ’cause frankly we couldn’t just leave it, it was almost 4E just for one small cup! Geeze! THAT was my Lent, honestly. It’s deadlier than Boca Negra with Bourbon Cream […] …
And on that note, I’m getting used to this drinking-wine-with-meals thing. Sheesh. I was holding Nino and Ms. Lina was pouring wine for a toast before lunch and she must’ve indicated me and Mum and Dad said yeah go ahead and so I ended up with wine in my glass for lunch. Well, I’m getting used to it. I better, considering how much wine was left over from Saturday. And they left it with us and refused to take any with them because they were all leaving for home (PA/Brazil/Cinci) the next day! and so we’re stuck with a lot of wine. Oh, high quality, fo sho, but goodness… it’s gonna take us a while to finish all that if I don’t learn to drink at least a couple glasses a day… ’cause Mum can’t have a lot ’cause of Nino, naturally, and Dad might sleep too deeply :P
Anyway. So let’s go back to the party on Thursday. But no, I’d have to show you for you to understand… I mean, I’d suck at it, but I’d have to at least attempt to give a decent imitation of Mr. Mauricio’s accent/facial expression/gesticulations for you form any acceptable concept of how hilarious it was… They had loads of stories, but one of the funniest began with everyone complaining about how the walls in the hotel aren’t soundproof and so they could hear everything and the Nepas said that for an hour every night they could hear the furniture on the floor above them being moved. Mr. Nepa kept making furniture-grating-on-tile-floor noises for some ten minutes straight no matter who was talking… and then Mr. Mauricio comes in and goes, “Must be EXTREME MAKEOVER EVERY NIGHT!!!” complete with… oh geeze, I’ll just have to show you in May, he’s so funny … and then Mr. Nepa, Mr. Mauricio, and either Mr. Cassiano or Mr. Alessandro all started going on about how their wives moved the furniture around and how they’d learned to just say, “It’s BEAUTIFUL,” and hope that it will be left at that. […]
Geeze I should stop listening to John Mayer. […]
So yesterday, we went on a bus ride, yayy! Hehehe. And we met Pinoys! Always fun, eh? They helped us get stampsssss, ’cause Yena has a letter for Tito Madz and we have a Happy Bday card for Therese and stuff. We got pretty far… the very heart of downtown. Not fun at 5 PM, I can tell you. Too many people trying to get the bus and smoking while waiting. Bah. Gave me a headache. Was glad to get home. But it was a nice adventure on the whole. Went to yet another mall that night ’cause we needed to go grocery shopping. Yum yum yum I had white pizza with zucchini, ’cause it was Friday.
And then today… began with a shower. And then we left and had breakfast at the gelateria where the Pinoys gave us such deliciously big scoops. We were listening to one of Paco’s more recent CDs. I’m just tickled pink that he likes Josh Groban. But geeze he chose a song that’s so cliche… TOO cliche… as if it’s a compilation of the most cliche cliche… cliche. Sheesh! It’s the only song by JG that I more or less detest. […]
11:31 […] Friday night I took that nap and then Mother woke me up to clean the kitchen. Which somehow improved my mood ’cause I started singing some crappy pity-me songs, which made me laugh in spite of myself. And then dinner came and Mother said I ought to stop washing dishes and go eat. After dinner, Nino was telling us stories, so we were all on the two sofa beds in the sala just watching him/listening to him. He’s so maingay now […]! He yells over us. Eventually went to bed, but I guess my mind […]
15:05 Wow, I keep getting called. So earlier I was called to take Nino, and then I was called for lunch, and then I was called to do laundry… yep. SO FRIDAY NIGHT all of a sudden this chapter from this one book comes to mind, it’s a very interesting chapter where, in this huge family, the parents start the day out grumpy, and as each person comes into contact with someone else in the family, the latter catches onto the bad mood and it turns out to be a horrible day for everyone. It’s interesting because the choice placed before a person is always outlined… like person 1 bumped into person 2, and now person one has a choice, to do either a or b, person 1 chooses b, and now person 2 has a choice, to do c or do and person 2 chooses d, and both ppl walk away mad… so on, so forth. And it starts with the parents and works its way down to the younger kids, and then all of a sudden everything is reversed because all the older people have been making negative choices, but the younger ones decide to make positive ones. And then at the end of the chapter, everyone then chooses to make an effort to reverse their earlier choices resulting in a nice happy ending to the day. So my mind was reading this chapter — the book is Arms of Love and I left it at home — and I thought, oh. So I could’ve chosen to disobey Mother and keep doing dishes and singing crappy songs which would’ve aggravated her which means she probably wouldn’t’ve played with Nino and I probably wouldn’t’ve stayed in the sala with the family even if she had. It’s just interesting tracking one’s daily choices, especially when you have the satisfaction of knowing you made good ones eventually and turned a bad day around. I should do that more often.
Daddy woke me up at 5:45, we left at 6.
11:59 […] Nino has such set ideas as to how he wants to be held by different people [when he wants to sleep] now. He complains if I don’t hold him a certain way, and yet if Paco is the one holding him, then he wants something else… It’s so funny. He slept with me for a few hours while the kids were all busy with school, and he always wants me to be holding him upright. He does NOT like it when I try to hold him such that he’s lying down. So, ok, I hold him upright. Then he wants me to have my right arm holding him up and he wants my left arm across his back and my left hand stroking his hair, such that he can settle his head on my left shoulder. If I switch arms, he squirms. He does NOT want to be on my right shoulder. And then he always buries his face in my neck/shirt. I always worry that he can’t breathe! but he complains if I try to force his head into some other position. If he’s really asleep asleep, then usually his head falls into a position I’m more.. unconcerned… about, but the arms thing is mandatory; he’ll wake up and complain until I get my arms into the right position again. Oh and he wants me to sing. If I don’t sing as soon as I take him, even if I’ve got everything in the right place, he’ll squirm around till I start singing. It’s ridiculous. He’s so good at communicating. Mother and I had a laugh… we were experimenting. Nino wanted to be danced. He insisted on it. I tried lying down three times and he wouldn’t be quiet. I told Mum about it. Mother wanted to test it. She told me to go sit down on the couch and stay very still so that she could see what he did. Three times we tried it, on two different couches to see if the color had any effect, and every time I sat down, he started complaining. So there’s what he wants from me. But then get this — Paco was done with school stuff and it was his turn with Nino. He took Nino and Nino’s okay with PACO holding him so that he’s lying down. I tried it not ten minutes earlier and he was so mad at me!!! but he’s fine with Paco doing it! It’s just so amazing to think that he recognizes our voices and I guess what we feel like? such that he wants different positions with different people. Ahhhhh I can’t wait for all of you to see him next month!! I hope he doesn’t get to the stage where nangingilala na sya before we get there…
OH! OH! and he snubs us now!!! Omigosh. It was soooo funny. I was holding him such that he was facing out. Mother bent down to look him in the face. He looked away! So for about two minutes, she kept on moving her head and following his, and he kept on turning away! So then she took him and told me to try it and he did it to me, too! And I was holding him that morning and I kept on calling him but he insisted on looking everywhere but me. Mother explained that first they learn to look at people, they learn to catch your eye and follow you. Once they’ve got that down, then they want to look at everything else. And so Nino snubs us when he feels like it. Haha oh geeze […]
So I told Mother that I’m kicking myself for forgetting to bring Passion of the Christ. This is supposed to be my fourth year watching it [on Good Friday, ’cause I never have the stomach to watch it just to watch it], how did I forget to bring it?? Mother, on the other hand, said she was NOT kicking herself. She doesn’t like it. I mean, she appreciates it, but she just doesn’t like watching it anymore. I guess it was the meditation today that got me kicking myself. It was on the scourging…
Bound to the pillar. Covered with wounds. The blows of the lash sound upon his torn flesh, upon his undefiled flesh, which suffers for your sinful flesh. More blows. More fury. Still more… It is the last extreme of human cruelty. Finally, exhausted, they untie Jesus. And the body of Christ yields to pain and falls limp, broken and half-dead. You and I cannot speak. Words are not needed. Look at him, look at him… slowly. After this… can you ever fear penance?
*Whew.* It just hits… because I have that
13:54 Was called for lunch… Hmm… what was I saying? Oh, right. I know that sequence by heart. I can watch the scourging in my head. The iron balls… and then the hooks and the ripping of His flesh. Ughhh I know why Mother hates it. And I suppose by her arguments I could just meditate on what I remember so vividly anyway, but it’s something else… seeing it in my head doesn’t *hit* me and make me *cry.* And how He stood up again and again when they thought He had surely had enough… and then them dragging him from the post and the trail of blood left on the cobblestones. And then Mama Mary and Mary Magdalen wiping up the blood…
So then later Mother called me into her room and… oh, I’ll just show you.
Mum: Are you reading anything right now?
me: Yep yep.
me: Oh whatever’s around. I was reading Enchanted Castle, I’m at the Ugly-wuglies…
Mum: You never read Enchanted Castle?
me: No, I never finished it. So I’m reading that, and my devotional, and I was re-reading Lord of the Rings, oh and I started on the The Great Heresies.
Mum: Did you try The Crusades?
me: No, not yet, I wanted to finish The Great Heresies first.
Mum: Ok. I was just wondering, ’cause we could order books for you, too…
me: Nah, it’s ok. I’m cool with what’s around.
Mum: Hey Ais, can you promise me that even when you’re in college and when you’re married and have kids —
me: Ma. You already made me promise that ages ago.
Mum: Huh? What?
me: That you could still assign me books?
Mum: Oh. Yeah. But I said college, now I’m adding even when you’re married and have kids.
me: Oh. Haha. Ok.
Mum: We can still read books together, right?
me: Yep, yep. Sure.
Mum: I hope you won’t tell me you’re too busy to read stuff.
me: Nah. Well… Not before I have four kids, anyway. ‘Cause you get around to telling me that sometimes as it is. But before I have four kids, I won’t tell you that.
Mum: Haha, ok.
me: Unless I’m in the convent and I don’t have time with all their assignments.
Mum: Hahaha ok.
me: Actually, Mum, that’s kind of something that… ’cause I mean I have this concept of convents, but I think it’s like… like my concept is convents in the middle ages…
Mum: Haha, you mean like illumination?
me: Yeah! Yeah, exactly.
Mum: Well then maybe you should try it. ‘Cause, look, Ais, you already have a concept of what married life is like —
me: Hm? Not really. I mean, I get the kids part, but —
Mum: But you see what Dad and I are like, right? So you have some idea of what it’s like.
me: Well, yeah —
Mum: I mean, it won’t be exactly the same —
me: No, of course not.
Mum: But you know what it can be like. So maybe you should go try the convent so that you have a concept of it.
me: Yeah… ’cause I mean, Mum, my concept of the convent is, like… like… like don’t I have to read the rule-book?
me: Yeah! I thought like I have to go study the rule-book…
Mum: No… I don’t think so? Your concept of the convent is like reading and illumination… and embroidery —
me: Yeah!! Tapestry work!
Mum: Yeah. Middle ages. Hildegard.
me: Yeah, exactly! Walking around and singing all day. No, but I mean, I know I was reading St. Therese, and I know… oh what’s her name… Claire… no, no. Not Celine… oh, Louise! like she —
Mum: But that’s fairly modern, Ais.
me: Well, yeah, I know, but, like, Louise’s order, she was a nurse, and I get that part, but I have this… like my concept of the convent is like Citadel of God except for women. Like I don’t… like my concept of nuns is not eating out at Panera.
me: Yeah! Those nuns we saw at Panera —
Mum: No… No, wasn’t it at Bravo!?
me: No… no, it was at Panera..
Mum: No, Ais, it was at Bravo! wasn’t it?
me: Well… maybe… but the point is that that’s not my concept of convents! Like Sisters… eating out?? My concept of the convent is prayer and growing our own vegetable garden type thing. And I mean, that’s fine, mind you, that’s *attractive* to me. But that’s the point. I just worry that if I were to enter the convent and then it was like all modern and… like I wouldn’t like it.
Mum: Ah ok. Well then maybe I should ask the 4real moms who have daughters who are nuns.
me: Oh ok that would help.
Seriously, though […] my concept of the convent is total isolation and… well in Citadel of God, the monastic life was described as prayer 7 times a day, one full meal a day, and then continuous occupation so as to keep one’s mind always on the Lord, but only within the grounds such that one was not burdened with wordly cares. Oh haha, Sunday in Rome —
me: I just saw these two priests walking by —
me: No, no, wait. And then I heard one of them say something like, “… but that’s in the Gospel…” and I was like OH MY GOSH. I mean, like, I’m so jealous…
Mum: So… you want to be a priest?
me: What? No! But I mean to just be able to discuss Theology and the Word of God ALL DAY and not… like… think. Of anything else. Like it’s all just Theological stuff. Dude! That’s just… insanely awesome.
Funny Mother. ‘Course I don’t want to be a priest. […]
Mum: My gosh. I was catching up on my google reader. You know what I read?
Mum: Someone was using that line? “Let the children come to me”? to promote ABORTION.
me: WHAT?!?!? That’s… that’s…
Mum: Because it’s like, let the children come to me, like you’re bringing in the children to be —
me: THAT IS JUST WRONG —
Mum: And some people abortion is a blessing —
me: THAT’S DISGUSTING —
Mum: And that’s just sick! Like Jesus saying that…
Mum: That’s just sick.
me: Ma, that’s gotta me the sickest thing I’ve heard in a long time.
Mum: Yeah. She was one of those women priests thing.
me: Oh GOSH.
Seriously […] that’s worse than Stephanie Meyer! […] THAT was just sick. Children… murder… quoting Jesus?!?! Death. […]
Paco: It should be Death OR Glory!
me: .. what?
Paco: The ship! The name of the ship is Death AND Glory! It should be Death OR Glory!
me: .. But… but that’s the point… that there’s glory IN death so it’s death AND glory —
Paco: Bogus! It should be Death OR Glory!
me: Ma… Paco thinks it should be death *or* glory.
Mom: Oo nga eh.
me: I mean, the whole point is that there’s glory in death —
Mom: Depending on the death —
me: Yeah, but that there CAN BE glory IN death, is the point —
Paco: Bogus! It should be Death OR Glory!
me: Never mind.
15:18 […] I can’t believe how pusillanimous I can be.
22:44 Hmm… wow. I found an old quote from Ate Mary’s profile that I sent to Mum… “Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?” I think… I let myself… forget that.
23:03 Hahaha so I’m sorting through files and I’m rereading my Anglo-Saxon essay. Honestly, I must’ve been half asleep ’cause I don’t remember writing half of it. OH NO! IT WAS THE MOTHS! I DON’T DESERVE THE A! … =) *sigh* My mind’s going […]. It can’t be the time, it’s only 5:05 in Cincinnati. […] Haha wow I don’t remember reading this, and yet I cited it — “Deep down we are all afraid: of suffering, or of dying, or of God’s judgment, or of the unknown, or of weakness, or of our lives slipping out of our control, or of not being understood and loved. We sin because we fear. We bully because we are cowards. Faith casts out fear as light casts out darkness.”
Oh. Duhhhh. That was what I was looking at when Michael was sitting nex to me at the Speakers’ Practice. Hahahahahaha. […]
10:50 Funny Nino found his foot today. But funny Nino probably does not know it belongs to him :D
12:01 Oh geeze. Mother found Sister vids on her laptop. Yes I know I suck at dancing, but she doesn’t have to rub it in… “Hmm… I should upload these…” “NO! IT WAS FOR OUR OWN PERSONAL DOCUMENTATION! THE SISTERS PROMISED EACH OTHER! WE PROMISED!” “So now I have blackmail… Clean my kitchen.. Do my laundry…” xD lol. Oh Mother.
18:27 Lol it was so funny, before I went out to hang laundry, I went to Mother’s room. Nino was sitting on her, and he was looking from one foot to the other. He just kept turning his head from one to the other, with this simangot on his face.
Haha. I never realized how much I love Imaginary… how it goes from strings to distortion to piano… *sigh* I totally blame Asher for all this. […]
22:48 Holy Thursday. Meaning the computer stays off all of tomorrow and Saturday =) and WOOOOOOO internet. Thank You, Lord. […]