What if there’s no, “I’ll see you later?”

Gabe and Matt are leaving this week.

Aisa is depressed.

I’m anticipating a very lonely four years coming up. More, I suppose. I’ve been homeschooled; my definition of ‘often’ is not identical to all yous out there used to seeing your friends at school every day. YFC’s been my high school life.

But maybe what scares me is… I mean, amidst all these goodbyes and pictures and smiles and tears and leaving behinds and being left behinds and all that, Paolo said to remember that it’s not really “goodbye”; it’s, “I’ll see you later,” but…

Michelle and I were talking earlier this summer… College… that’s one thing. War… that’s something else.

It isn’t so much that Eric’s gone, you know? He’s a guy. Guys go byebye. They gotta go try out their wings and all that. Make their way in the world. Mature. I guess more girls are doing that now, but I’m still in this traditional mindset that doesn’t quite get why. Anyway… the point is… it isn’t that Eric’s gone, so much as that it’s completely up in the air if he’s coming back. Not the way Nate’s not coming back. But very possibly not coming back, period. Very possibly no, “I’ll see you later.” Very possibly, “goodbye” was goodbye.

It just… doesn’t feel right.

We’re too young to be saying goodbye goodbye… right?

But then… Gella said goodbye.

I miss you, Gella.


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