In Anticipation…

of some possibly… inappropriate… conversation that we may possibly be subject to sometime soon, my bros prepared the following answers to the question, “Do you have a girlfriend?” (We had this conversation over lunch.)

The ‘feigning ignorance’ answers:

“What are those?”

“Are they expensive?”

“Where can I buy them?”

And my personal fav — “Are they edible?”

And the ‘experienced’ answers:

“Oh yeah, I’ve had lots of those.”

“They only like me when I pay them.”

“They’re really expensive. I could sell them for more on ebay.”

“Yeah. I use them for targets.” (Hmm… that sounds like something I’d say. Have they influenced me, or have I influenced them?? Who can say now.)

“I’d rather have an axe.”

And then suddenly (because of the selling-them-on-ebay line) the conversation turned to some guy who tried to sell his mother on ebay. Ridiculous. But then…

me: Could you see me putting Mother on ebay?!
Mom: Although, if you get a million bucks for me, I’d totally go for it.
me: …
Mom: Yeah, and then I’ll be so bad, they’ll want to give me back.
*kids laughing*
Mom: Yeah, because all sales are final on ebay, so if you get a really good price for me, they can’t ask for their money back.

HN…

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