The other Friday, I was at a college presentation. I’m sure it was very helpful to my friends. For that, I am grateful. The college being advertised was Notre Dame, and it would certainly be a good place for them to be encouraged to find a deeper awe and love for their Faith.
I have no doubt that the people giving the presentation were very devout Catholics. I think their presentation would have helped me a great deal if I really had no idea where I was going or what I was doing. :) Not trying to sound like I know it all, mind. Most of it, I’d read, but it was certainly refreshing to hear it in a actually-having-gone-through-it perspective, you know? But anyway.
My notes, however, I must admit, were few:
— listen to Dad xD
— tell Mum to get that article up on ‘the attached teen’
You see, I heard two things which caught my ear, but only because they alarmed me slightly. The first was when someone asked if homesickness should be a factor in choosing a college. The response made me cringe, “It’s important to find your home away from home.”
What?? No!!! Don’t tell these kids that?!?!? They have good relationships with their parents!!!! Don’t go encouraging them to take that mind-set that so many teens these days have — that college is their get-away-from-home route!!! no no No No NO! The I-need-to-get-outta-here mind-set is not a sign of maturity!!!!! Don’t advertise it!
I do wonder what the parents were thinking when they heard this. But no one said anything!!! I was… geez! for want of a better word, disgusted! But that makes me sound like I hated the people there. No, I don’t. I quite love them… I just think they have a wrong concept of maturity. Granted you really will have to be independent at one point, but here’s one person asking about homesickness (which tells me that they love their family enough to be homesick) and the solution is supposed to be finding a home away from home? Look, I’ve got lots of homes-away-from-home. I’ve moved 8 times. I could visit any of the places I’ve lived and have a place to stay. (I don’t think Mum and Dad would let me go alone in some cases, yet, though, but, anyway.) I was just… so… sad… that these kids are being encouraged to push past their missing their family. Why??
It makes me wonder if parents are afraid of letting a child depend on them too much!
Look, I know that there are some cases where a child should get out of the house as soon as they can. In cases where the home is only mentally, spiritually, and especially physically damaging, kids should get out as soon as they can to free themselves from those destructive influences and live their lives. In other cases, kids get kicked out. I have a friend who was given a car at 15, she had to work to make it driveable, then when she got her license at 16, her parents refused to drive her anywhere anymore, and at 18 she got kicked out of the house, and now she’s renting an upper room from her grandmother. What amazes me is that she continues to have a very close and loving relationship with her parents. I admire her immensely for that. She is one of my top role models. And she’s got it all together! She’s graduated from college, she’s been working every summer since she was 15 and has some $20,000 in the bank. She’s a tough one.
But what about in good, healthy families, like the ones at the presentation?
Hmph. I should pose this question to parents — Are you afraid of letting your child depend on you too much? I just can’t think of any other answer to why parents would want to encourage children who love them to find a home away from home sooner than they are inclined to. And not extremes, either; obviously it would be a bit much for a child to stay at home up until their 30s or something, but it’s not as if these kids are the type who are so insanely scared of stepping outside the house. They’re an ambitious set, they’re smart, they’re confident, there’s no reason to suppose that they’d be inclined to live at home for the rest of their lives. So why rush ’em?? I really cannot understand it.
Thus my second note.
The other thing I heard was more for the parents, and that was that they should open a joint credit card account with their kids so that their kids could learn how to manage credit cards.
I thought we were supposed to learn and manage without credit cards, as much as possible?
Again, I was silent.
And it worried me that some parents were actually asking about more info on that.
But there ends my little rant.
The parts that I heard that I’ve either read or heard from my parents or close family friends were good. Didn’t need to take notes, though.
But as for the rest of it… and I have never heard kids being encouraged to leave a good, healthy family before, or being encouraged to have credit cards… I’m not buying.