I got a phone call.
“It’s a girl.”
10 years, 8 months, and 28 days, I’d waited to hear that. :D
And now she’s 6 years old!!!!
This past year especially has been a slightly difficult one… For one thing, she’s reached that stage where she wants to be a baby again, and therefore whines more than she did even when she was at an age to be indulged… but for me, even harder than dealing with this were the times where I felt her age.
The kids were over at a friend’s house down the street, and I’d been sent up to watch them (which doesn’t happen often, you understand). Well, for the first half hour or so, things were rather uneventful and I was quite content, buried in a book, while the kids played kickball. I happened to look up and gave a yelp. Yena was hanging on the monkey bars. I sprang up and grabbed her waist to hold her there, crying out, “Careful, baby!” Do you know what that little girl did? She laughed. She laughed at me, and said, “It’s ok, Ate! I do it all the time!” in a very matter-of-fact, you-ought-to-know-that-by-now tone.
I couldn’t help asking, “Are you sure?!” in what I’m sure was a very indignant tone. What can I say? She scared the living daylights out of me!!
It really hit me then, how much she’d grown. For a moment, I felt… I don’t know… out of place? It was some weird feeling watching her swing from one bar to the other. The last time I remember her doing that, I was still holding her up, yet here she was, what seemed like a very short time later, confidently swinging from her little tightly-gripped fists, a good 3 (4??) feet off the ground, telling me, she didn’t need my help! Bless her. I seriously felt weak for a bit, and continued to glance up from my book every 5 seconds for the remainder of the hour which the kids had been allowed out.
I think I watched her more carefully, then. I observed much, and felt much… She’d surprise/half-scare me with little things like, “Yeah-HUH!” which made me laugh, but also made me sad… Goodness, she knows more about cars than I do! The way she talks to her brothers about the cars she wants when she grows up, you’d think she actually knew what she was talking about! Then again, she probably does understand a lot of it, it’s just a little, like, “wow”-ing to hear it come from a six yo’s mouth. She’s very talented at stating the obvious, like her Kuya Migi.
Watching her around other people has been like a little bereavement, in some ways. She’s rarely shy… I think back to when I was that age. For those of you that know me well, it won’t be any news to you that I remember a lot, to the point of scaring people with my memory. I guess I do remember being that way, kind of, with my friends… but these six years have flown, and I wonder, if it is this hard for me to see her so big, how was it, then, for Mommy when I reached Yena’s age, and how was it for her when all of us reached that age, and how does it continue to be for her as we grow older?
Well, I don’t want to end this post *tear*ing up, so, on the happy side of the coin (not that the other side is sad, of course, just a little difficult to realize and to deal with), I am very thankful that she has not yet outgrown me grabbing her, pinning her down, and going “mwah mwah mwah mwah mwah” to the back of her neck. :D She still squirms and laughs so hard.
I wonder if I’ll still be doing that by this time next year?