The Hopes and Dreams of a Catholic Girl

“They tell me you have seven children,” said Christine, speaking to Anne but looking at Gilbert.

“Only six living,” said Anne, wincing. Even yet she could never think of little white Joyce without pain.

“What a family!” said Christine.

Instantly it seemed a disgraceful and absurd thing to have a large family.

“You, I think, have none,” said Anne.

“I never cared for children, you know.” Christine shrugged her remarkably fine shoulders but her voice was a little hard. “I’m afraid I’m not the maternal type. I never thought that it was a woman’s sole mission to bring children into an already overcrowded world.”

I have goals in life. I know that I want to do well in school, graduate with a BA in Culinary Arts and Science sometime in the next five years, hopefully do my co-op requirements for college abroad — Paris or Japan would be nice — at some point in my life make it to 4th Dan in Tang Soo Do, and immerse myself in my Catholic Faith and all its riches, be able to defend it well, and maybe even bring people to the True Church, if God wills that grace be given me. I want to learn to play the harp, the mandolin, the saxophone, the piano, improve considerably in violin and guitar, and somehow find time to take full advantage of my considerable flexibility (I am so proud for having maintained it, despite having quit gymnastics nearly 4 years ago) by training in Drunken Boxing.

I once answered a survey question thus:

What do you want to be when you grow up?
lol… not that it is very likely to turn out as i imagine, i suppose… but… i have it all planned out: i see in my mind a karate school where i will teach, the setup similar to Tang Soo Karate USA in dickson city, except that the front desk/shop/lobby area is against the wall on which the other side lies the fitness center. there will be an opening in that wall, and the fitness center is, instead, a bakery. my own bakery, with mum and yeni to help me bake… one corner of the bakery is reserved for the results of my hobby – jewelry making. the music on either side of the wall couldn’t be more different. the techno music that drives us plays in the karate school, only being turned off between classes. on the other side of the wall, in the bakery, plays mostly classical stuff, but imagine hearing… oh, say, cathasaigh, playing there. that sort of quiet, soothing music. besides pursuing these three hobbies, one of which — baking — will be helped along by my major… i want to be a mom. and continue being a food writer.

I definitely have big dreams! But I think the biggest dream of all is one that, when talking to friends and family about my dreams, no matter what I forget to list among the many things I want to achieve, I NEVER forget to mention, and that is that I wish to have the privilege of being a mother.

I am open to the possibility of God’s plan for me being at the convent, but right now, I really really feel that my calling is to raise a family. All in His good time, of course.

Kids are so precious, I treasure so much the privilege of holding little ones, I find myself wondering sometimes how it will be when (and if, never forget the if) they are my own. That is such an amazing thought. I often make jokes like, “Can I take him/her home?” when returning a precious little miracle to their mother’s arms, and I just wonder what it will be like if one day, I shan’t have to ask!!

This isn’t my only motivation, however. America kills 4,000 miracles every single day. I!!! want to do my part and try, oh, ever so hard! to make up for those murders… I want to be open to Life, I want to let God send miracles into this world through me, I want to try my best to raise Saints for Him. My mom tells me to pray hard for a guy who will be as open to Life as I am, if that is really what I think God’s will is for me.

“Splendor hopes to accomplish a degree in journalism from ASU, earn some respect in the journalism world, and in due time marry and raise a Catholic family.” http://speakofthesplendor.wordpress.com/

“I want to fall in love, get married, keep a house, have lots of precious children, and have a happy life fulfilling that vocation.” http://amaidenswreath.blogspot.com

I am blessed enough to know girls with whom I share the dream of being a mother of a big Catholic family. Devin and Clare are two amazing examples. I can think of a few more. :D I know we all have many goals and dreams in other aspects of our lives that we have every intention of fulfilling, by God’s grace. But I think that, perhaps one day, if we were to write books, I think that mine would end something like this…

Walter and Jem in their bed and Shirley in his cot were all sound asleep. … Jem had fallen asleep while reading “The Life Book of Captain Jim” … it was open on the spread. … Walter was smiling in his sleep as someone who knew a charming secret. …

Nan and Diana and Rilla were in the next room… Diana with darling little damp red curls all over her head and one little sunburned hand under her cheek, and Nan with those long fans of lashes brushing hers. The eyes behind those blue-veined lids were hazel like her father’s. And Rilla was sleeping on her stomach. …

They were all growing so fast. … But they would still be hers for a few years yet.. hers to love and guide… to sing the songs that so many mothers had sung. Hers… and Gilbert’s.

She went out and down the hall to the oriel window. …

Through the open doorway came the soft sound of children breathing. Gilbert, who seldom snored, was indubitably snoring now. Anne grinned. She thought of something Christine had said. Poor childless Christine, shooting her little arrows of mockery.

“What a family!” Anne repeated exultantly.

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6 comments

  1. Oh, Ais. What a beautiful post, and I am honored to be mentioned in it.

    (I’m going to email you with a little bit more…) :)

  2. […] mentioned this in previous posts, I honestly can’t remember, but ever since my post entitled The Hopes and Dreams of a Catholic Girl, it seems like everyone knows my life goals, now, haha!!! I don’t know whether to be amused […]

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